Personal blog: #StoicWeek2021 - Monday

It has been a long time since I posted a personal blog, and StoicWeek 2021 seemed to be a good time to do it again. The organisers of Stoic Week encouraged people to vlog, or share their experiences online this time around. This is not my first time taking part in Stoic Week, but changing the way I share now does not seem to be a good time. So I thought to stick to an old favourite, my blog.

My life is really hectic at this time of year, so these posts might seem cryptic or impersonal, but I can assure you they are very personal to me.

Monday, 18 October 2021, 19h33.

This is not the end of my day, but I thought to share how my Stoic Monday (practice) has gone.

My husband gets up at 5 am, and after doing all his morning stuff leaves the house at 05h30. It is then time for me to get up and start my day. Since I plan my week ahead, my early morning musings were about the time I have before leaving for the lab at 8 am.

After getting dressed (and all that is required to get to that point), I spent some time in my office doing the morning meditation/reflection using the audio file narrated by Donald Robertson. To be honest, I was not focused on his words every minute, because I reflected on my own situation at the same time. I do practice mindful meditation, and thoughts drifting off are not a real concern as I as aware of this and then bring them back to the narration (or my breath) as required.

This seemingly simple exercise has proven to be beneficial to bring a calmness to my mind which I often feel last for several hours afterwards. Given the fact that I have to drive more than 20km to the lab on a very busy highway, calmness of mind is essential as I am sure you can attest when dealing with other drivers oftentimes driving as if their attention is anywhere except where it should be.

My workload is stressful and getting worse this time of year. While I expect it, it is still causing me to feel overwhelmed more often than at other times of the year. The calmness helps, but once my attention is required for the tests, my mind then switches into overdrive and stays there for the rest of the day. I am an engineer, and focus is important since I deal with potentially hazardous situations in the lab during the tests that we do.

After spending the morning doing what I had to do, inspecting the equipment for a new job, updating the technical director on the situation, I drove home again. My mind had lost its calmness as mentioned, but I no longer get angry or upset in traffic. A situation which helped me to avoid an accident, and helped me to remain clear headed - which helps when driving at high speeds.

Source: StoicWeek 2021

On the way I had to stop for a few things at a pharmacy/department store close to home. We needed toilet paper, but I decided to wait until today to get it on the way home. We usually do our groceries shopping on a Friday or the weekend, but the store at the mall we went to, is not a favourite, thus the detour today. But they didn't have the packaging size I prefer. Making a scene was not going to help, and they did have the smaller packaging size available. So I took a breath, grabbed the toilet paper, paid for my shopping and went home. Until now I haven't even given it a second thought. Stoicism needs practice, and only when I sit down to think about it, do I notice how "instinctive" my behaviour has become especially when it comes to the matter of control.

At home, the highly intense focus usually causes me to require a few hours to relax. I had my "lunch" at the lab, so I made a light snack for lunch and caught up on a few videos on YouTube from artists that I follow. I suffer from hypoglycemia so multiple meals are required each day. This is also a good time to catch up on my personal emails. I have a work email check schedule, because it can become a huge distraction. If there is a crisis, or someone needs urgent information, all my colleagues and clients have my mobile phone number. Years of experience have taught me that no email is ever that urgent, and a quick reply usually only happens when I am online at that moment and a short answer could resolve the issue.

A second opportunity to "not get angry" presented itself when I had to place an order for my second business. The details are not important, but I took a moment to think about what I should do instead of blowing up about it. This pause to think is not easy, but it does become easier with practice - believe me.

At 4 pm I start dinner, so that we can eat by 5 pm - yes, it is already 12 hours since we started our day, so an early dinner makes sense. After dinner I packed Hubs' lunch box, loaded the dishwasher (it finished a few minutes ago), did my Inktober drawing for today, did the pencil sketch for the drawing due tomorrow, planned my work for tomorrow, and wrote in my journal about my day.

It is now 20h18 as I write these words. It is still a few hours until bedtime, which means that I can get a head start on my report. After I finish the evening meditation of the day and perhaps write a few more words in my journal.

Book Feature: Dare to be a Duchess by Sapna Bhog

 

He’s a powerful duke. She’s his uncle’s ward. They have forever been at war, until one night, one masquerade, and one kiss…

Lara Ramsay is no stranger to scandal. As the orphaned daughter of a British colonel and his beloved Indian wife, whispers follow her everywhere. Not even the protection of the formidable Duke of Wolverton, a man she can’t stand, keeps the gossips at bay.
The audacious Lara has driven Tristan Wentworth, The Duke of Wolverton, to distraction since the day his uncle took her in—and he’s quite certain doing so is her favorite pastime. After catching her and his younger sister at a salacious masquerade, he’s had enough scandal and issues a marriage ultimatum: find a husband within six months or one will be chosen for her.
Unfortunately, no one in the ton appeals to her. Except, perhaps, the duke himself. The battle of wills has only just begun, and when Lara kisses him, their fate is sealed.
Sometimes even the most proper duke needs to break the rules to win the heart of the woman he loves...

Book Links:
Goodreads * Amazon.in * Amazon.com

Quotes from Dare to be a Duchess:

“Here, right at this moment, I’m giving you an ultimatum: Find someone from the ton to marry in the next six months or I will choose someone for you.” – Duke of Wolverton

“Well then the plan is simple, ‘Divide and Rule.’” – Lara Ramsay

“You’ll be surprised that a gentleman with the best intentions can behave like a rake when faced with temptation.” – Duke of Wolverton

“I think, Wolf, that you go on and on about my undesirability and my unattractiveness as a way to convince yourself more than me. The fact is that you kissed me because I am desirable and I am very attractive indeed.” – Lara Ramsay.

“You know very well that I’m accepted in the ton, albeit grudgingly, thanks only to you. No man wants to marry me, and I don’t want to marry any of those men.” – Lara Ramsay.

Read an Excerpt from Dare to be a Duchess:

Wolf crossed his arms and glared at Lara. Despite being at fault, she was as unrepentant as ever. Her absolute nonchalance drove him mad, always. 

“It is my concern. Getting into trouble is second nature to you, so I’d be lying if I said that it gave me any pleasure to be the one to help you out.” Wolf scowled at her. “Paxton is not a fool. He only has to think closely as to whose identity I would desperately want to protect and then remember your dark hair and he will come up with your name. You truly have no sense at all.”

“Well then you shouldn’t have bothered coming to my aid,” Lara retorted. “I could have handled the situation perfectly well by myself.” 

Wolf put his hands on his hips. “And how may I ask would you have done that?”

“I’ve heard that a well planted knee on a delicate part of a man’s anatomy would normally do the trick.”

His eyebrows shot up. “You’re crazy to think that you could have deterred Paxton that easily.”

Lara merely stared at him, her head held high, further fueling his temper. 

“What, nothing to say?” he snapped. “Which brings me back to my first question. What in the world are you doing here in this depraved place?” 

Lara continued to watch him with those deep blue eyes, her lips set in a mutinous line. Her lack of response irked him even more. 

“Answer me,” Wolf demanded, his tone sharp.

She met his gaze head on. “We had no inkling this place would be so bad. And nothing untoward has occurred, so stop shouting at me.”

 “Unbelievable,” he growled. “Do you know how bad this place can be for two innocent girls like yourselves? Behind their masks and costumes, the men here have only one thing on their minds when they look at you, and you, as usual, don’t care that you could be completely ruined if discovered, let alone taken advantage of, in this den of vice. You are wild and irresponsible and you give no thought to your actions or the consequences thereof. And you 

brought Anne here? Just because you don’t care about your reputation doesn’t mean you can play fast and loose with hers.”

Lara’s eyes blazed with fury. “Anne is not a child. She is a grown woman who has a mind of her own.” 

“And that is justification for you to come here?” Wolf countered.

“I, too, have a mind of my own,” she shot back. “And I do not appreciate you telling me what I can and cannot do.”

His nostrils flared. He was the Duke of Wolverton, one of the most powerful men in England. No one defied him. And yet this one woman stood against him at every turn. Why couldn’t she understand the potential danger for her or Anne here?

About the Author:
Sapna Bhog is an author from India who writes contemporary and historical romance novels. As a self-proclaimed die-hard romantic, her books are filled with swoon-worthy heroes and feisty heroines who clash all the time, but do get their happy ever after. Sapna has always surrounded herself with books and when she is not writing she is reading. Originally from Dubai, she now lives in Western India with her husband, kids and a Siberian Husky. Sapna gave up a successful IT career and took a foray into writing and has never looked back since. Her favourite pastimes are reading, writing, traveling and shopping—not necessarily in that order. She loves to hear from readers.

Sapna on the Web:
Twitter * Facebook * Instagram

 

Book feature: Ye Gods! The Law is an Ass! by Seelie Kay

Genre: Romantic Suspense, Paranormal Romance, Mystery

Publisher: eXtasy Books

ISBN: 978-1-4874-3357-4

Page: 145

Word Count:44705

Publication Date: 2021-09-03

Book Blurb:

It was the Great Lie, and it could destroy the Vampire Nation.

In First, We Kill All the Lawyers, vampire lawyer Donovan Trait survived repeated attacks by a serial killer. Now, after violating a marital agreement with the Vampire Coalition, and several ancient Vampire Laws, Donovan, and his newly-turned vampire bride are on the run. You see, in exchange for permitting a pure-blood vampire to marry a turned human, the Traits agreed to allow vampire scientists to monitor the conception and birth of their children. When Judge Shirley Magnusen Trait turns up accidentally pregnant on her wedding day, the fury of the Coalition is unleashed. The tribunal recommends unacceptable punitive action and the Traits are forced to flee to a mysterious island of vampire nuns. The Traits are, by profession, seekers of the truth. But this time, the truth may not set them free. In fact, it could start a revolution. Will the Traits escape the clutches of the Coalition and keep their babies safe? Or will their family be…eliminated?

Book Links:
Goodreads * eXtasy Books

A Quick Interview with Seelie Kay

Why do you write romance?

Because I am fascinated by the games people play to find and secure a lasting relationship, which is not always love. There’s the chase, the courtship, the falling, the surrender. That’s what I try to capture in my stories.

Do you prefer a certain type of romantic hero?

I adore smart, dashing gentlemen who aren’t afraid to live on the edge. They can be a bad boy, a billionaire, a prince, or a secret agent. That hint of danger just hooks me! However, I they have to be paired with strong, independent women who aren’t afraid to fight for what they want, even love.

Why did you write “Ye Gods! The Law is an Ass?”

Donovan Trait is a vampire lawyer. In the human world, a very respected lawyer. I wanted to give him the opportunity to shine in the vampire world. So I created a scenario where his turned vampire bride Shirley is unfairly punished for an unintentionally violating their marital agreement, as well as other outdated, outrageous, and outright discriminatory laws—she unintentionally  To survive and protect their unborn child, they must not only fight back, but also rebel. In this instance, human history provides them with the path. That gave me the opportunity to draw parallels between the fight for human rights and the rights of vampires who aren’t purebloods. It also allowed me to poke at the continued need of both societies to embrace social change. Perhaps surprisingly, the vampires lag far behind the humans in terms of equality and individual freedoms. However, in the end, the message is clear: Whether human or vampire, an individual is entitled to certain rights and liberties. And no human or vampire has a right to deny them.

About Seelie Kay:

Award-winning author Seelie Kay writes about lawyers in love, sometimes with a dash of kink.
Writing under a nom de plume, the former lawyer and journalist draws her stories from more than 30 years in the legal world. Seelie’s wicked pen has resulted in nineteen works of fiction, including the new paranormal romance series Donovan Trait, as well the erotic romance Kinky Briefs series and The Feisty Lawyers romantic suspense series. She also authored The Last Christmas, The Garage Dweller, A Touchdown to Remember, The President’s Wife, The President’s Daughter, Seizing Hope, The White House Wedding, and participated in the romance anthology Pieces of Us.
When not spinning romantic tales, Seelie ghostwrites nonfiction for lawyers and other professionals. Currently, she resides in a bucolic exurb outside Milwaukee, WI, where she enjoys opera, the Green Bay Packers, gourmet cooking, organic gardening, and an occasional bottle of red wine. 

Seelie is an MS warrior and ruthlessly battles the disease on a daily basis. Her message to those diagnosed with MS: Never give up. You define MS, it does not define you!

Seelie on the Web:
Website * Blog * Twitter * Facebook * Instagram * Author's Amazon Page

Book review: BEING BETTER by Kai Whiting and Leonidas Konstantakos

AMAZON LINK

 I received (gratefully) a copy of the book from Kai and volunteered to review it. I don't write reviews in the same way other people do, so I won't blame you if you would rather not go to the trouble of reading this review.

I won't rehash the synopsis nor the contents of non-fiction books, there are other reviews(1) if you prefer those instead. My review is purely based on my experience of reading the contents and how it will (or do) impact my life as a Stoic practitioner.

That being said, let's get stuck in.

I have been a student and practitioner of Stoicism going for five years now. I started the practice because I needed to learn to deal with the incredibly stressful environment of the industry I was working in at the time. Since leaving my last employer, I am now fully self-employed, I have continued the practise purely because of the benefits to myself.

This book has enriched my practice but also increased my understanding of Stoicism as being more than a way of improving myself. Studying translations of the original texts of the Stoics is not easy for someone who is not a linguist nor a trained philosopher. Being Better, and the work done by the authors helps to make the original texts more palatable for a modern mind.

“Stoicism is a practical philosophy that provides an antidote for troubled times, while it also keeps our ego and excesses in check when things are going well. Stoicism helps us to understand ourselves and other people better and to navigate a path through life’s challenges and successes. Zeno and his Stoics understood that the “good life” is rooted in communal living, which includes partaking in civic duties, building strong local ties, and being open to, and appreciative of, the universal community that extends across the whole world.

Stoicism won’t remove all of life’s obstacles, but it helps us to think differently about them. It won’t provide us with all the answers, but it gives us the ability to form the questions that ultimately lead to the solutions. Stoicism may be more than two thousand years old, but Zeno’s wisdom is as powerful as ever.”

Although a very practical philosophy, I found that there is more to learn about Stoicism and to understand my place in the greater society I live in. Oftentimes we see ourselves as an island, but with more study and greater understanding, it has become clear that my life has an impact on more than my own improvement as a person.

Using my work as a consulting engineer to explain: What I do directly impacts the products and companies that I work with. This then ripples out to the people and industries that end up using these products worldwide.

Although I have been aware of this for some time, the greater influence of what I do (or neglect to do) could have a much wider impact than what I thought at first. The details are not important, but what is important is that I need to be continually aware that I have to do the right thing, make the right decisions, and advise my clients to the best of my knowledge and abilities. This is not easy to do, but a constant reminder of the Stoic principles of wisdom, self-control, justice, and courage makes it possible.

Being Better reminded me that slacking on my own learning, could be detrimental to others around me. I love learning, but it is the awareness that it is continuous learning that contributes to living a virtuous life. I am by no means the only person who does what I do, so it also brings the added responsibility of bringing this mindset to those within my influence, Stoic philosophy notwithstanding.

One thing about Being Better that particularly spoke to me was “the principle of 'Only the educated are free' [which] embodies a continual search for wisdom and a perpetual questioning in order to know what to do or not to do and how best to succeed.”

Only once I understood the impact this had on Sparta (discussed in chapter 7) did it resonate with my own opinion of the situation in my own country. South Africa has had turbulent times due to corruption and crime at the highest levels of government.

Overcoming the wrongs of decades of history, by the more wrongdoing of the “uneducated recent past” will not be simple. But learning from the Stoics like Sphaerus could provide a way forward even for the modern problems that countries dragged down by corruption could benefit from.

This sounds like an impossible task for a modern country with massive issues of which economic decline is just one. But what will happen if I in my own small way manages to influence someone, who then influences someone else, who eventually is in the right position to make the right impact at the right time? I am not that important, nor do I think that it will necessarily be because of me living a virtuous life, but what if it does?

Another aspect that was clarified (at least to my mind) is the principle of “living in accordance with nature”.

“...a Stoic’s appreciation of Nature goes beyond taking selfies and a superficial enjoyment of breathtaking sights and sounds. It involves a profound thirst for the kind of knowledge that helps us understand how the world works and our position within it.”

Living in accordance with nature has always been a matter of interpretation in many articles on the subject that I have read over the years, but I think that the authors explained it in a way that makes sense irrespective of my own beliefs.

Being Better is a book to introduce people to think about these things, and could have a much wider impact on how we think about our roles, our circles, our lives, than what we can imagine.

The questions posed at the end of each chapter raised my thinking about these issues. The book does not provide the answers, because the answers cannot be given. After all, it is up to us, up to me, to ask the right questions for our situations, to seek the answers that we need for our own lives and communities.

“Stoicism is not about doing the impossible or trying to singlehandedly solve complex social or environmental issues. It’s about consistently doing what you can within the life you lead using the personality, knowledge, social role, network, and skillset that you already have.”

And this in essence is why I decided to study Stoicism and why I wanted to read this book. To practice Stoic philosophy and to live a virtuous life with “the decision to strive for eudaimonia, that is to say, for a life worthy of being lived and for a world worth living in.”

I recommend reading Being Better because it increased my understanding of some of the practical aspects of Stoicism. The examples (both historical and modern) provided the practical ways that people have lived their lives in a way that can inspire every one of us to strive for eudaimonia, a life worth living.

A last comment: I own and study several translations of the works by Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius. If you are interested in learning more about Stoicism, a comprehensive list is given at the end of the book with the appropriate references to the text in each chapter.

(1) Academic review, and Kai's comments about the book

Linzé's rating: 4.5 💜

The #CreativeLife 2021 A to Z Blog Challenge: Z is for...

Zero excuses

Nope, this is not a post to preach to you today. This is what I decided at the beginning 2019 - no more excuses. I take part in challenges like this blog challenge, Inktober, and NaNoWriMo so that I can plan to do creative things.

I love my job, but working too many hours is not good for my mental health or my need to create. So I made the decision to stop procrastinating and to stop using a bag full of excuses to not do the things I love.

Is it working? Yes! Do I need time some time to just binge on Netflix? Yes, but it is a decision and not just an excuse anymore.

Until next time!

💚 Linzé 

PS: Keep an eye out for a series about some other stuff I do like to do - coming very soon!

The #CreativeLife 2021 A to Z Blog Challenge: Y is for...

 Yellow

The last of the three primary colours. I find it interesting that two of the three colours are considered warm colours - red and yellow.

Last year colours were some of the prompts we did for the #inktober52 challenge. Since I like illuminated letters, here is the Y I drew for the challenge.

Illuminated letter Y

Comments and sharing you art are most welcome on Twitter, thank you for visiting my blog today.

Until tomorrow!

💚 Linzé 

The #CreativeLife 2021 A to Z Blog Challenge: X is for...

 Xanadu

Some colours have weird names, but who am I to argue? 😉

Here is one of them. The colour was generated using the website coloors.co 

Comments and sharing are most welcome on Twitter, thank you for visiting my blog today.

Until tomorrow!

💛 Linzé