Showing posts with label mindfulness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mindfulness. Show all posts

Sunday 24 October 2021

Personal blog: #StoicWeek2021 - Saturday and Sunday

Sunday evening, 20h13, last day of Stoic Week 2021.

I said in my Friday post that I would post yesterday, but I did not. Unlike the previous time I did not post, this time it was a decision not to do so. My Stoic practice was not neglected, but I was working on the project I mentioned before. I decided to rather give it as a birthday gift instead of waiting until Christmas, and needed to work to get it done urgently - her birthday is this coming week. The basic construction of the book is completed - I finished it about two hours ago - but there is still some work to be done before it is ready as a gift.

It also means that I spent most of today working on it. Aside from the time I had to draw today's Inktober prompt (you can see it here) and preparing for the prompt for tomorrow, and a few chores, most of my day was spent on the book. Still no new bone folder, but I managed. It can be frustrating to wait for glue to dry (boring, right?) especially since the deadline moved from weeks to days. Unfortunately, I cannot use a hairdryer like I can for a watercolour painting. Patience is the only option. LOL!

Source: Stoic Week 2021

I have read that some people believe that Stoicism cannot be practiced by creatives because it dampens the creative spirit (it is after all a rational philosophy) but from personal experience I found it to be the opposite. Even though I am not a professional artist or writer (meaning that I don't earn my primary income from the sale of my art or books), Stoicism has also helped me in my creative endeavours.

Here is how it works for me:

1. Self-control: Procrastination is the universal enemy for many creatives, myself included. I have not won this battle (yet), but I find that the discipline of "getting out of bed, and doing my duty" (a creative reference to Marcus Aurelius's Meditations 5.1) is the essence to getting things done. Inspiration is a thing, but the muse works when you do - by showing up and doing the work. (You can learn more about getting things done in this YouTube video. I can definitely recommend the book discussed in the video.)

Practice makes better. I have been writing since 2000, and doing art since 2012 (Stoicism since 2018) and only by showing up and doing the work can you improve.

2. Wisdom: I found it interesting that the VIA Institute questionnaire results indicated that Wisdom is my number one character strength. I wish I could say it came with age, but I know it is not the case: age has very little to do with wisdom. I am far from being wise, but I have learned over the years that learning something from a book, or video, or other means, can only benefit oneself with actual practice. Learn, practice, and adjust where necessary. The same applies for Stoicism and any creative skill: learn a technique, practice it, adjust where you didn't get it right, or go back and study it again. Only with this iterative process can one improve - whether it is learning to draw, write a novel, or become better at being a Stoic.

It is for this reason that the words from Epictetus resonate with me from the moment I read it the first time, to right now when I can see on the wall of my office: First say to yourself what you would be; then do what you have to do. 

Whether I am doing my daily job (business owner, and consulting engineer), studying and practicing Stoicism, being an artist, art teacher, or writer - I have to show up and do the work.

If Stoicism is something that resonates with you, then be patient with yourself. Becoming a better human being is a lifelong endeavour.

A last note from me before I conclude my comments on Stoic Week 2021: I am a Christian (Calvinist) and I practice Stoicism within that belief system.

All the best with your Stoicism study and practice - until next time!

🙋‍♀️💜 Linzé


Friday 22 October 2021

Personal blog: #StoicWeek2021 - Thursday and Friday

Hello there!

It's Friday! 😂 22 October, 20h45 as I start this post.

Yesterday, Thursday, completely got away from me. I am sure you know exactly what I mean. I only popped out to a shop, to try and buy a bone folder (more on that next), but remained at home for the rest of the day, mostly because I didn't have work to do. It might sound weird because I did mention a nightmarish job list, but it did happen. My work as a safety certification engineer requires that I do tests that can sometimes cause damage to equipment. Since the client indicated that they would repair or replace the equipment for me to continue testing, I had to wait until they did. So I went to the lab today and finished the tests (probably damaging it again) but now it's done and I have the report to finish.

Source: Stoic Week

I mentioned my difficulties in obtaining a bone folder to a colleague, when he looked at me as if I grew a horn from my forehead. LOL! After explaining that it is a tool mostly used in book binding, I told him about the lack of available stock at almost every art/craft shop in my city. I have a bone folder but it is damaged and I have to be careful otherwise it tears the paper I am currently working with. Yup, I am making two books and I worked on them most of the day. I will try another shop next week, but it is a long shot. Online shops have not been helpful either, so the struggle continues.

My husband mentioned a late meeting for Thursday, so our normal dinner time got delayed by almost two hours. At first I didn't mind so much (okay, I did mind a little) until I remembered that I had an art class to present and the late dinner was going to seriously mess with that. I asked my friends if we could cancel, and they graciously agreed. But the late dinner made everything late - specifically the chores required after dinner, and that also included Thursday's blog post that you are reading right now.

Friday: I mentioned self compassion on Twitter an hour or so ago. Since yesterday did not work out as planned, I decided to let it go and to add a few comments here just to catch you up.

Today started perfectly. It rained a little bit. I love the rain, and always feels grateful for the blessing of life falling down to earth. It makes my car dirty, but I don't worry about that. Although those muddy spots might look good on a SUV, it does nothing for my sporty sedan 😜

When I arrived at the lab though, the gratitude attitude evaporated with the noise of jackhammers and a workman-crowded space. Since lockdown began, I have become a bit socially anxious when there are lots of people crowding my space. The lab is a small company and I only share workspace with one person, but all these workmen today made me hide away in the lab for most of the time. My colleague also mentioned that the noise was exceptionally distressing. Both of us are introverts, so the invasion of sound and bodies was not easy.

Getting to the bathroom was a mission and a half: I know I am no skinny runway model, but walking on slippery broken tiles (and breaking more with each step), wearing hearing protection I have to mention, was definitely a first for me. 😆

Oh, the reason for the noise and workmen: they are busy re-tiling the whole building. Apparently they will finish tomorrow, so I am praying that our workspace will be its normal peaceful self on Monday.

Source: Stoic Week
How did being a Stoicism practitioner help me today (and yesterday)?

I mentioned self compassion (a timeous article linked here if you want learn more) and it reminded me of our theme this Stoic Week - wellness. In all the situations I found myself in during the past two days, I reminded myself about the value of staying calm and letting go of things that I have no control over.

Of course, I could have avoided the noise and the crowd of workmen by simply getting into my car and going home, but then I would have not finished the job I committed myself to do this week. Because of the required repairs my planning did slip two days, but finishing a job is important because I said I would finish it this week - and doing the work is within my control.

Once I came home today, I worked on the books again, instead of working on the report. I also did my Inktober drawing for today's prompt. It was my way of taking a few hours to relax and clear my mind of the day's stress. I will do the report over the weekend, but for now my mind is calm and I can plan my weekend activities with clarity.

Today we look at our world from above, and with that mindset I think I can say that it would be good to put today and yesterday behind me to look toward tomorrow with a fresh outlook on everything I need and want to do.

Have a wonderful weekend, and I will chat to you again tomorrow.

🙋‍♀️💜 Linzé



Wednesday 20 October 2021

Personal blog: #StoicWeek2021 - Wednesday

Hello there! I thought to share this morning's study quote with you because it spoke to me.

Whatever happens to you, remember to look inside yourself and see what capacity you have to enable you to deal with it. If you catch sight of a beautiful boy or girl, you’ll find that you have self-control to deal with that; if hard work lies in store for you, you’ll find endurance, if you are insulted you’ll find patience. If you get in the habit of responding this way, you won’t get swept away by your impressions of things.

Epictetus, Handbook 10

Wednesday, 20 October, 18h59

Spend most of my day doing tests at the lab then had to tell the client that I broke the equipment and need some more samples to finish the tests. Yeah, he was not exactly impressed 🤦🏼‍♀️ LOL! Unfortunately, damage to the test samples as a result of the tests is just par for the course.

Source: StoicWeek

For today we are reminding ourselves of the four Stoic virtues: wisdom, justice, courage, and self-control. Part of our early morning "homework" included a link to a website where you can do a survey to tell you what your Stoic strengths are. Intrigued I did the questionnaire and it told me my number one strength was wisdom. Hmm, not sure how that happened.

I am working on a project to give as a Christmas gift, so not going say any more for now. But also have to do prep for tomorrow evening's art class and plan my day for tomorrow. Still have to do my evening meditation and journal for today, so will not keep you much longer.

In short:

My Stoic practice came in handy (of sorts) when I approached the bridge over the highway this morning where I had to take the off-ramp. While on the bridge (waiting for the traffic light) I spotted the traffic to the left of me standing still. Yeah, my first thought was this was going to be a long one. I then cranked my neck to look at the other side, a touch more difficult since the highway is downhill to my right. The cars were moving, so the logical deduction would be that the problem was underneath the bridge. And that should not be a problem for us getting onto highway driving North.

Yeah, you would think. When we descended down the offramp, all the drivers in front of me (yes, every single one) had to brake to see what was going on. To me that has to be the most illogical and irrational thing to do - unless of course you could be of service. But the ambulances and the police and everyone else were already on-site, so there was nothing to be done, except drive and get our little butts out of the way. But no. My dad always said that people want to see blood. Still makes no sense if you ask me. So I got my butt moving, and out of the way of the traffic that had to negotiate the accident.

Wisdom? Don't know, but definitely something about human behaviour that continues to boggle this engineering brain to this day.

Until tomorrow!

🙋‍♀️💜 Linzé

Tuesday 19 October 2021

Personal blog: #StoicWeek2021 - Tuesday

Hello, and welcome back to my blog. This is the second day of #StoicWeek2021 and the topic for reflection today is emotions. A tough one on the best of days.

If you missed my musings yesterday, here is the link. But let's get back to my Stoic experiences of today.

Tuesday, 19 October 2021, 20h29.

Yes, I am a bit later than yesterday but I have been thinking about what I want to write about today.  Not that I am blocked or anything, but Tuesdays are my most challenging day in the week. It starts early and unlike any other day, I cannot afford to oversleep. Yes, handy little thing called a smart watch that I wear on my wrist who beeps twice to try and wake me.

Source: StoicWeek

Part of the challenges include managing the dogs while the garden services are working, cleaning up the garage if they make puddles, and then having breakfast and trying to get to work. Today I had to fetch an order I made online (delivery at home is not possible because I don't know if I will be there when the courier arrives), then I had a Zoom meeting with a financial advisor. These disruptions were not surprises, but they can seriously affect my focus when trying to work. And I had to finish the report, send it to be checked (rules of working in an accredited lab) and then prepare for the tests I have to do tomorrow.

Unless I have to go somewhere, I spend my Tuesdays working at home. Practicing Stoic philosophy seems pretty silly when there is no one else that impacts my day. Today was no different in that respect. All my interactions with other people were professional and emotions other than polite friendliness are seldom a concern.

So a pretty uneventful day even from a Stoic perspective. What did surprise me, and to some extent I forget that this happens every time during StoicWeek: I get more done in a day than normal. Stoicism? Or perhaps I know that I have more to do than normal, and don't allow myself to be distracted? Something to think about.

It is almost 9pm, and time for my last cup of coffee for the day, then my evening meditation and a few minutes with my journal.

Until tomorrow!

🙋‍♀️ Linzé

Monday 18 October 2021

Personal blog: #StoicWeek2021 - Monday

It has been a long time since I posted a personal blog, and StoicWeek 2021 seemed to be a good time to do it again. The organisers of Stoic Week encouraged people to vlog, or share their experiences online this time around. This is not my first time taking part in Stoic Week, but changing the way I share now does not seem to be a good time. So I thought to stick to an old favourite, my blog.

My life is really hectic at this time of year, so these posts might seem cryptic or impersonal, but I can assure you they are very personal to me.

Monday, 18 October 2021, 19h33.

This is not the end of my day, but I thought to share how my Stoic Monday (practice) has gone.

My husband gets up at 5 am, and after doing all his morning stuff leaves the house at 05h30. It is then time for me to get up and start my day. Since I plan my week ahead, my early morning musings were about the time I have before leaving for the lab at 8 am.

After getting dressed (and all that is required to get to that point), I spent some time in my office doing the morning meditation/reflection using the audio file narrated by Donald Robertson. To be honest, I was not focused on his words every minute, because I reflected on my own situation at the same time. I do practice mindful meditation, and thoughts drifting off are not a real concern as I as aware of this and then bring them back to the narration (or my breath) as required.

This seemingly simple exercise has proven to be beneficial to bring a calmness to my mind which I often feel last for several hours afterwards. Given the fact that I have to drive more than 20km to the lab on a very busy highway, calmness of mind is essential as I am sure you can attest when dealing with other drivers oftentimes driving as if their attention is anywhere except where it should be.

My workload is stressful and getting worse this time of year. While I expect it, it is still causing me to feel overwhelmed more often than at other times of the year. The calmness helps, but once my attention is required for the tests, my mind then switches into overdrive and stays there for the rest of the day. I am an engineer, and focus is important since I deal with potentially hazardous situations in the lab during the tests that we do.

After spending the morning doing what I had to do, inspecting the equipment for a new job, updating the technical director on the situation, I drove home again. My mind had lost its calmness as mentioned, but I no longer get angry or upset in traffic. A situation which helped me to avoid an accident, and helped me to remain clear headed - which helps when driving at high speeds.

Source: StoicWeek 2021

On the way I had to stop for a few things at a pharmacy/department store close to home. We needed toilet paper, but I decided to wait until today to get it on the way home. We usually do our groceries shopping on a Friday or the weekend, but the store at the mall we went to, is not a favourite, thus the detour today. But they didn't have the packaging size I prefer. Making a scene was not going to help, and they did have the smaller packaging size available. So I took a breath, grabbed the toilet paper, paid for my shopping and went home. Until now I haven't even given it a second thought. Stoicism needs practice, and only when I sit down to think about it, do I notice how "instinctive" my behaviour has become especially when it comes to the matter of control.

At home, the highly intense focus usually causes me to require a few hours to relax. I had my "lunch" at the lab, so I made a light snack for lunch and caught up on a few videos on YouTube from artists that I follow. I suffer from hypoglycemia so multiple meals are required each day. This is also a good time to catch up on my personal emails. I have a work email check schedule, because it can become a huge distraction. If there is a crisis, or someone needs urgent information, all my colleagues and clients have my mobile phone number. Years of experience have taught me that no email is ever that urgent, and a quick reply usually only happens when I am online at that moment and a short answer could resolve the issue.

A second opportunity to "not get angry" presented itself when I had to place an order for my second business. The details are not important, but I took a moment to think about what I should do instead of blowing up about it. This pause to think is not easy, but it does become easier with practice - believe me.

At 4 pm I start dinner, so that we can eat by 5 pm - yes, it is already 12 hours since we started our day, so an early dinner makes sense. After dinner I packed Hubs' lunch box, loaded the dishwasher (it finished a few minutes ago), did my Inktober drawing for today, did the pencil sketch for the drawing due tomorrow, planned my work for tomorrow, and wrote in my journal about my day.

It is now 20h18 as I write these words. It is still a few hours until bedtime, which means that I can get a head start on my report. After I finish the evening meditation of the day and perhaps write a few more words in my journal.


Friday 13 September 2019

Mindfulness Week: Flow state by Melissa Adendorff


When I started to think about how to engage with this topic, I wanted to bring my personal experience into it, because it is practically valuable and I use it daily, but I also wanted to speak about it on a more formal level, because it is a practical tool that has promise in terms of the wellbeing of vocational dancers. This is my current research focus, and I deal with it in practice as an NLP practitioner, but I also deal with it in the studio where I dance every day. My focus is on mindfulness in terms of performativity and bodily esteem … which culminated in tremendous personal triumphs, and highlighted a professional challenge second to none.
To contextualise this, technically, I’ve been researching the specific value of a preventative intervention in terms of body-esteem which addresses the prevalence of the development of anorexia nervosa and anorexia athletica in the vocational ballet community, in addition to this community’s propensity to normalise pain in order to achieve a higher standard of technique execution despite the increased risk of injury and increased anxiety around the ballet class experience, as reported in 33 peer-reviewed studies conducted between 1966 and 2013, including a study conducted in the South African context (Arcelus, Witcomb, & Mitchell, 2014).
And I could do only do this research because of my personal investment in ballet and my own ballet body, and that makes the research process mindful in itself, because I work in the liminal space between objectivity and subjectivity, and it allows me to take care with my analyses and applications of my learnings.
Now, while I’m wary of labels, if I have to put a name to the thing that got me here, it would be “mindfulness” … but I prefer to call it “flow”.
I like to call it “flow” because there’s a continuity to this state that moves through every one of my areas of function, from academics, to dancing, to work, to diet, to sleep hygiene, and my post-operative recovery, and it combines an awareness with a motive and an action, leading to a motion toward an achievable goal.
I started working with my personal flow state just after a knee surgery in 2018. For a while, my flow state meant straightening my leg, and focusing ALL of my attention and energy into just performing that act, in that moment. And then doing it again.
And, as hard as it may be to believe that, looking at me now (not to be boastful, but I’ve made quite a bit pf progress in just over a year), that took ALL of my focus and willpower and determination and motivation and drive and vision. To do something so simple.
I did not want to do the leg-straightening, because it was tremendous effort and tremendously painful. But, flow isn’t necessarily about wanting to do a thing, because desire and motivation invariably peter out.
Flow has a discipline component, and that’s why flow, or mindfulness is so valuable in ballet, because with awareness, I learn my limits, and I learn which limits I can push safely and which limits to respect … and this has filtered into my life in general – changing careers, studying again (after attaining a PhD), and going back to an active pursuit wherein I feel at home, and yet so out of place.
My flow state helped me make ballet home again …
That said, when I started this dancing endeavour, it required a lifestyle overhaul. Primarily because I set a lofty goal of passing vocational levels … Vocational levels are distinguished from general graded levels as Intermediate Foundation through to Advanced Level Two are internationally recognised tertiary-level qualifications which are strictly examined through structured assessments recognised by the United Kingdom’s Regulated Qualifications Framework (Royal Academy of Dance, 2016) allowing for workplace entry as professional dancers, teachers, and choreographers. These exams are serious, and attaining a vocational grade is a big deal.
Vocational dancing requires a rather surprising time sacrifice, and it requires daily effort, in terms of learning the syllabus, performing the syllabus adequately, conditioning, strengthening, and incorporating the RAD’s “CCCLSD” as a mindful component to all dancing practice (correct placement and posture, control, coordination, line, spatial awareness and engagement, and dynamics). This couples with dietary effort, to find the balance between sustenance, satisfaction, and performativity, and still working on building a dancer’s body and deconstructing the body that I had worked with until that point ... And that was hard for me, but again a flow state regarding food made it possible …
Now, I have heavy muscles, so going by the number on the scale, my achievement is not really anything to brag about, but I have managed to transform my shape from a bulky martial artist to that of dancer, moving from a bulkier build to leaner muscles, even if they are still heavy, and dropping three-ish dress sizes in about 18 months … this was also not what I wanted to do, because I am the embodiment of an emotional eater, and yet, with awareness, and discipline, and flow, I’ve been able to maintain a 500 calorie deficit every day since February last year.
It helps that with intensive training, I burn enough calories that I’m not starved and miserable, I’m just keenly aware that a slice of white bread slathered in butter and covered with another layer of peanut butter (that has both salt and sugar) and syrup, while delicious, would throw all my progress out of kilter, and flow keeps me on kilter. Because I can have a banting treat, which turns out is pretty good when it’s all you choose to have.
And this is important, because I still have an “other” ballet body … (Now I have done rather extensive research into the issue of the ballet body, eating behaviours, and the pressure of performativity, and I am working alongside the organisers of the South African International Ballet Competition and its International Ballet Intensive to address this within the next year). A whole other novel aspect of an other ballet body is my tattoo collection (that’s a story for another day), which I got to feature here with a smile alongside Taras Domitro (a spectacular dancer from Cuba).
This bit might get a little bit technical, again, but the technicality matters, and brings back the flow of personal discipline and personal achievements.
The culture of ballet discriminates against any body which does not fit its predetermined idea. (Nolan, 2011). This ideal is based on the aesthetic qualities of being physically slight and slim, with a long neck, a shorter torso, long legs which are not hyperextended or hyperflexible, long arms which are not overly muscular, and feet with sloping toes and high insteps.
Any deviation from this ideal potentially risks breaking the body line. Any body of any race will face discrimination if that body is perceived as “big” (Campbell, 2018), because while the bigger ballet body may be technically proficient, it breaks the body line and the line of the corps. This has a similar effect on the bigger ballet dancer as it has for the black ballet dancer where the perception of the “wrongness of body shape” affects the person’s worth in terms of her dancer identity (Campbell, 2018). Olivia Campbell (2018) explains that not being thin and slight enough leads to severe embarrassment and humiliation when a smaller, but less technically proficient dancer would have a successful audition, while a bigger dancer is rejected. This ultimately impacts the individual’s self-concept, as it renders her feeling that she is not good enough because of her anatomy (Campbell, 2018). 
Without flow, I would lose myself in the ideal, and while I have done a lot to reshape my fighter’s body into a ballet body, it is not within the ambit of the preferred aesthetic. And yet, I maintain my flow, and work with my body, because it has achieved so much in a short time, and it dances en pointe and turns and jumps and looks beautiful in flow state on the stage … and maintaining a positive bodily esteem is necessary for a healthy self-concept, and while mine is not quite perfect, it is healthier now than it has been in a long time, and that keeps me motivated to stay healthy in my body, while it is on display in a leotard and tights every day of the week.
And that is maintained by flow, because I can’t know what goes on in anyone else’s self-concept and bodily esteem, so there is no point comparing, especially in the ballet environment where competition comprises height (and, I shit you not, knee circumference).

On that, here is another technical bit, but one that mindfully contextualises why mindfulness (or flow) around bodily esteem is so important …
The positive subjective appraisal of one’s appearance (Smolak & Thompson, 2009) is vital for sustained wellbeing of an individual’s dancing practice, as the dancer’s body is contextually constructed from childhood into an embodied identity, based on public bodily presentation and “performativity” (Pickard, 2015, p. 8). This bodily construction forms the basis of stress-management and performance-management in vocational dance, as the discipline of ballet, and the habits of the ballet community, the necessary commitment to ballet practice necessary to pass vocational levels, and the competition within the ballet community to attain recognition from instructors, company directors, examiners, and choreographers create pressure to function within the meritocracy of the ballet community (Pickard, 2015).
This especially pertains to adolescent dancers, as the adolescent’s identity as a ballet dancer is in the process of determination while he/she undergoes physical, cognitive, and psychological development during puberty, all while being exposed to criticism and scrutiny (Pickard, 2015) by teachers, examiners, and directors in the attempt to construct a proficient vocational dance body.
What does this amount to? Research suggests that working with a foundational practice of mindfulness in dance, and the lifestyle surrounding dance, allows for healthy holistic development … 
Sensory acuity and physical self-awareness of proficiency and general physical wellbeing (Linkenauger, Wong, Guess, Stefanucci, McCulloch, Bülthoff, Mohler, & Proffitt, 2015) are required in correlation with emotional self-awareness in order to manage the stress and discipline of the ballet curriculum (that’s a lot of technical language for “flow”). This requires awareness in terms of subjective distress, pain, anxiety, and the behaviours which are engaged in order to manage these emotions and sensations (Pickard, 2015). Based on this awareness, it is possible to create skillsets around accurate self-assessment (Nadler, 2011) in order to allow the individual to check-in with herself/himself and to prevent harmful coping mechanisms from being reinforced, especially in terms of preventing the normalisation of pain, and the normalisation of restrictive dieting to meet the balletic aesthetic requirements.
Flow keeps me going in a class where I am seen to be in competition with every other dancer on the floor (and every other dancer is at least 15 years my junior, in peak physical condition, and good), because when I focus on myself and my technique, I am able to count my victories. After an ACL reconstruction and meniscus debridement, in August 2018, I have managed to master a vocational syllabus to the point that I can be put up for examination. And pass. At 33, with an older and a little bit of a broken body (there have been ankle injuries and some noodle ligaments, and other bits that don’t really work as well as they used to), and I have to keep sight of what is “my” good, and my accomplishments. Every day.
If I didn’t do that, ballet would become unbearable, because of the nature of the beast that is the hypercompetitive world of vocational dance. 
My daily flow follows this basic trajectory … consistent time in getting up and a set morning routine – If I have a morning class, then I start the day with a stretching and limbering routine because my leg struggles to get going sometimes, and I have a breakfast that I know will keep me going ill lunch time, even if I am dancing. Whether I’m dancing, working, or going to an academic class, my discipline remains the same – and the flow is in the discipline. I don’t deviate from the plan, but the plan remains flexible. From ballet, I either go to work, or to an academic class, and then back to the studio, and again, I am disciplined in this. I don’t feel like it every day, but I know the benefit of following through. So I do, and I make progress, and hat keeps me flowing. And then I come home, and spend the quality time that I have left with my fiancé and the cats, and I sleep, and I get up and I do it again. It’s is a simple routine, but it is full, and fulfilling. And flow keeps it fulfilling because it gives me pause to reflect and count my victories and acknowledge my perseverance and dedication. 
Part of that reflection happens when I’m processing big thoughts or feelings, and then I blog about them, or use them as impetus for a research topic … I oscillate between personal and technical writing, even when they come to the same conclusions in different registers. I often blog before a ballet class, because it centres my thoughts and intentions. And energy flows where attention goes, as directed by intention, according to Michael Hall (2006).

About Melissa
Dr Melissa Adendorff is currently an NLP practitioner and performance coach, an aspiring returned vocational ballet dancer and instructor, and a student registered counsellor. This follows on from an established career in academia, with close to a decade of lecturing, course coordination, and curriculation, local and international conference presentations, journal article publications, and the completion of a doctorate focused on critical spatiality and bodily spatiality. 
Melissa’s current research focus is based on wellbeing and performativity in the vocational balletic paradigm, focusing on psychoeducation for dancers, their parents, and their teachers in order to prevent harmful behaviours including disordered eating and the normalisation of pain.




References for the technical bits of the post
Arcelus, J., Witcomb, G.L., & Mitchell, A. (2014). Prevalence of eating disorders amongst dancers: A systemic review and meta-analysis. European eating disorders review22(2), 92-101.
Campbell, O. (2018, May 28). 'She's good but she's big': My years as a 'fat' ballerina. The Guardian.Retrieved fromhttps://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/may/28/shes-good-but-shes-big-my-
years-as-a-fat-ballerina
Hall, L.M. (2006). Meta-NLP®– Accelerated NLP training. Clifton, OC: NSP – Neuro- Semantics Publications.
Linkenauger, S.A., Wong, H.Y., Guess, M., Stefanucci, J.K., McCulloch, K.C., Bülthoff, H.H.,Mohler, B.J., & Proffitt, D.R. (2015). The perceptual homunculus: The perception of the relative proportions of the human body. Journal of experimental psychology: General, 144(1), 103-115.
Nadler, R.S. (2011). Leading with emotional intelligence: Hands-on strategies for building confident and collaborative star performers. New York: McGraw Hill.
Nolan, B. (2011, July 20). The ideal ballet body. DANCE informa: Australian edition. Retrieved fromhttps://dancemagazine.com.au/2011/07/the-ideal-ballet-body/
Pickard, A. (20150. Ballet body narratives: Pain, pleasure and perfection in embodied identity. Oxford: Peter Lang.
Royal Academy of Dance. (2016). Specification: RAD level 2 and level 3 certificate in vocational graded examination in dance: Intermediate foundation and intermediate (ballet).London: Examinations Department; Royal Academy of Dance.
Smolak, L., & Thompson, J.K. (Eds). (2009). Body image, eating disorders, and obesity in youth: Assessment, prevention, and treatment(2nded.). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Thursday 12 September 2019

Mindfulness Week: 5 Tips to take Mindfulness Practice to Your Next Level by Linzé Brandon


Today is international Mindfulness day and here on the Broomstick we have been celebrating this practice everyday this week. Some of the writers of the Pretoria Writers' Group are sharing their experiences along with me and I hope that you too will take a few moments of your day to celebrate with us.
Before I get into the details of my practice, let's take a step back at what mindfulness is and how it works in daily life.

Mindfulness vs Flow
Definition of Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the psychological process of bringing one's attention to experiences occurring in the present moment, which one can develop through the practice of meditation and through other training. [1]

Definition of Flow
Flow is…being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost. [2]

Practical Experience
To my mind, the two concepts are not exactly the same although I will concede that there is a significant overlap in the "state of being" between mindfulness and flow. Perhaps I could illustrate this with two personal and one general examples.
#1: When I am meditating my focus is completely inward. My concentration and focus are centred on my state of being. I am focused on letting go of the thoughts that are creating noise and chaos in my head and secondly meditation helps me to accept and learn about the state of me, physically and mentally, at that moment.
#2: When I am drawing, entering the flow state, my focus is directed towards controlling the pen in my hand. Drawing with ink is one of my favourite pass times and unless my concentration is on my fingers and the pen, there is the risk of making a mess of the end result. Fixing mistakes in an ink drawing is almost impossible and starting over is usually the only option.
I have a back problem and sitting in one place for longer than two hours, causes a lot of pain. When I was busy with a recent project, I would spend in the order of three to four hours at a time only focused on the drawing, completely unaware of my back, until I stopped. It was not fun to get up from that chair, I can promise you. Being in a flow state means that I was unaware of anything except the activity I was engaged in at that moment.
So you can see that mindfulness meditation (inwardly focused) and the flow state (action-focused) have different and separate states of mind. But being mindful is more than meditation practice. When you are focused and aware in the present, it can become a lifestyle instead of only a few minutes on a meditation cushion.
#3: Think about driving a car. It is by definition a mindfulness action. If your attention is not in the present, on the road, on your surroundings, you run the risk of being in or causing an accident. If all drivers were mindful, think how wonderful it would be to drive a vehicle. I love driving, but these days it is a stressful and mentally exhausting activity I have to deal with every time I get behind the wheel.
You can see that mindfulness is present during the flow state, but it is not only a single moment of focus. For the flow state to bring the enjoyment, creativity, and happiness people report, the state of being mindful has to be present for sometimes hours at a time.

Pros and Cons of Mindfulness
Concerns have been raised about the real benefits of mindfulness [3] in the way it is being sold as the quick fix for the problems of modern living. Mindfulness will not fix your stress levels with an app reminding you to breathe. Nor will it make you better human being when meditating for twenty minutes every day.
Mindfulness is not a fix, it is a journey of growth. Often the spiritual aspects of mindfulness meditation are removed from the modern practice and therein could lie the problem identified with the practice. Practitioners are accused of being self-centred and self-absorbed, and even more so than before starting the practice. You don't have to be a Buddhist to practise mindfulness meditation. Being more in touch with who you are does not distance you from any spiritual beliefs.
As a Christian, I find that the meditation practice strengthens my faith because of my increased awareness of my own limitations.
However, to me, the advertised benefits are there too, but I have been a consistent practitioner for almost two years now. I am calmer, even in stressful situations. I have found that I am less likely to judge people, and am much slower to anger. When I included some aspects of stoicism [4] in my life, the benefits grew exponentially.
At first, I thought that as I grew older it was purely for that reason that my temper has not been so quick to rear its ugly head, but personal observation of people around me has lead me to a different opinion altogether. Age has nothing to do with it, in some cases, it gets worse.

If you are already mindful, how can you take it to your next level?
Mindfulness is an individual journey. Mine cannot be the same as yours since your life's journey is not the same as mine. But here are 5 tips to help you figure out the journey you need to map to take mindfulness to your next level:
  1. Practice: There is a saying that says "practice makes perfect" which makes a whole lot of sense if you want to make the most of the mindfulness practice. Perfection is not what we are aiming for, but unless you practice daily you will not grow and become better at it. If you are a journal writer, use that to help you track your progress as you grow in your practice. If you don't use a journal, start a notebook and keep track of how and when you practice and your daily experiences. You will be surprised how quickly you will notice the difference in your life.
  2. Study: Many people stop learning as soon as they leave school or university to start "life". But learning is a part of life, even though exams don't have to be. Read about mindfulness, meditation, and stoicism then you will be more aware of all the aspects to each practice. The more you know the easier you will be able to adapt your practice and adjust it to suit your lifestyle.
  3. Meditation: Meditation is often cited as the way to mindfulness, and it has many benefits, but you don't need to meditate to be a mindfulness practitioner. Explore meditation practice as an option, and if you are unsure, do it with a guide to assist you. In the end, it is up to you to decide whether you like to meditate or not, but don't disregard it because you are not a Buddhist.
  4. Moving meditation: This may sound weird, but there are several methods of meditation practice where you don't have to sit in one position with your eyes closed, or staring at a burning candle. Tai chi is often called the practice of moving meditation and well worth exploring if you prefer a moving to a sitting meditation. I have been a student of tai chi for three years now, and I can confidently tell you that it takes real focus (in the moment) to learn the movements associated with the martial art. It is not difficult and you don't have to be in top physical condition to start, and it has the added benefit of moving so you also burn a few calories while you are at it. Walking meditation is also a meditative practice and there are lots of information available on the internet to learn how that is done.
  5. Stoicism: I believe that stoic practice can be the counterbalance to the perceived negative aspects of mindful meditation. Stoicism has an unfortunate name since it is believed to cause its practitioners to become emotionless. This is not the intention of stoicism, and practitioners will tell you that it is not the case.
    At its core stoicism encourages rational thinking, instead of emotional decision making. This has the benefit that the stoic practitioner will be aware of their own behaviour and always work towards a situation where other people are not hurt or taken advantage of.
    To my mind, the stoic practitioner takes the concept of mindfulness to the ultimate level of mindfulness: awareness of one's actions and behaviour and the effect this has on the world around us. 
(Note: Stoic week [4] is in October again, where you too can learn about the practice)

Going forward...
Like all mindfulness and mindful meditation practitioners you need to find your own way. Start with the small things: pay attention to what you eat, listen to someone speak, or notice the way the air smells when you walk outside.
We live in a world of distractions and as a result we are putting greater distances between ourselves and everyone and everything else.
Maybe it is time to bring yourself back into the present, and be mindful of every moment in your life, because we only have so many available to us.

If you want to learn more:
  • Flow - the psychology of optimal experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, ISBN 978-0-06016-253-5, 1990
  • The complete idiot's guide to short meditations, Susan Gregg, ISBN 978-1-592257-614-2, 2007
  • Seven secrets of mindfulness, Kate Carne, ISBN 978-1-84604-504-2, 2016
  • Meditation is not what you think, Jon Kabat-Zinn, ISBN 978-0-316-41174-5, 2018
  • Mindfulness for creativity, Danny Penman, ISBN 978-0-349-40821-7, 2015
  • The meditation handbook, David Fontana, ISBN 978-1-906787-65-3, 1992
  • The daily stoic, Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman, ISBN 978-1-78125-765-4, 2016
References used in the text
[3] The Problem with Mindfulness, Gustavo Razzetti, https://medium.com/personal-growth/the-problem-with-mindfulness-7ceddf4d41c

About the Author
author picture, Linzé Brandon
After many years, Linzé left her full-time job to enjoy the challenges of self-employment once more. Now she spends her days working as a consulting engineer and competence trainer.
She is a mindfulness meditation and stoic practitioner, and a student of Yang style tai chi. In August 2019 she submitted drawings for her first, and hopefully not her last, art exhibition.
Linzé is the author of non-fiction books, novels and short stories.
Her life's philosophy can be found in the words of the stoic Epictetus - first say to yourself what you would be, then do what you have to do.
Linzé Brandon lives in Pretoria, South Africa, with her engineer husband and German Shepherd dogs who are convinced that the world revolves only around them.

Connect with Linzé:
On Instagram @linzebrandon
On Facebook @LinzeBrandonAuthor
On Twitter @LinzeBrandon

Wednesday 11 September 2019

Mindfulness Week: Daily Mindfulness by Andrea Vermaak


Being mindful is something I often struggle to achieve. I very often reminisce about so-called better days long gone, or think about the future, either making long-term plans or needlessly worrying about it. 
However, I seem to be most mindful when I am doing specific activities. During these times, I seem to be more appreciative of the little things that matter and I feel more relaxed which, in turn, helps me to feel more energised and ready to take on more challenging tasks.
After a busy day at school, not only teaching, but dealing with students’ problems, pushing admin deadlines, setting tests, planning lessons, printing, marking, marking and more marking (did I mention marking?), I find that the best thing to do to unwind when I get home and become fully conscious of the present again is to make a cup of tea, grab a snack and sit on my patio. 
At first, I had to make an effort to focus on the present moment, so that my mind did not return to school and all the stress that I made an effort to leave there. It is, however, becoming easier each day to enjoy each sip of tea, savour each bite of my snack and immerse myself in the sound of the birds, the shade of the two big trees outside my tiny yard and the orange palette of the sunset. 
After my snack, I water my garden, taking care to tend to my little herb planter, picking yellow, or dry leaves to discard, and big, healthy leaves to use in my kitchen. I admire and appreciate how well they are growing, and can’t wait until they are big enough to harvest a substantial amount from them. 
I’ve placed a plant pot dish on an old tree stump and make sure that it is full of fresh water every day. Though I haven’t seen any birds drink from it, I know that by being mindful of them, taking care to make sure that the dish is clean and that I’m not just filling it out of routine, may make a difference. 
It may seem like something of no significance to think about, but it refocuses my mind to the present moment and even reminds me that there are circumstances to each decision I make, no matter how small. Without water, life would not be possible; birds may not visit my garden. It takes a present state of mind to remind ourselves of the things we often take for granted.
I recently, watched as a little gecko sipped water from a leaf of my delicious monster. How could one not be mindful in a moment like that? It is not something you see every day. 
It is important to me to be fully aware of the life around me. It somehow reminds me, even if for a brief moment, that I am alive and I that matter.
Speaking of life, now that my sister has a nine-month-old baby, I fully immerse myself in the present moment when I visit my family. Every smile, every giggle, every gurgle, every “Ooh” is so precious. I try to capture these moments, as if they were tiny bubbles of joy, and store them in my heart. If I am not completely mindful in these moments, I feel as though the bubbles would pop and disappear. It is at times like these that I feel as if I were living life in high definition.
I am probably most mindful when spending time with family and friends. I have realised more and more how fragile and fleeting life is. Also, as so many of my friends have immigrated to countries all over the world, it is so important to me to be fully present while in their company. 
By being mindful while in the company of others, I’ve learnt so much just by listening and observing, even about myself; what I like and what I don’t like, as well as who I want to be and don’t want to be.
It has made my life richer and, believe it or not, my writing too.
Without realising it, I have included so many characteristics of the people around me into my characters, even those whom I have merely glanced on the street, being fully aware of their presence and taking in every inch of their somehow fascinating manner of standing out from the crowd. It is not surprising, as most writers will write about what they know, but it makes me wonder: If I were not mindful while spending time around people, even strangers, would I have been able to include what I observed in my writing?
I could say the same about reading. I am always relaxed, yet focused when I am reading, absorbing every word on the page like a sponge, soaking myself in the images created in my mind and wallowing in every new concept learnt. Subconsciously, what I read, especially if I am mindful when I read, inspires my writing later.
While reading for pleasure, I am both fully aware of my physical surroundings, as well as the fantastic, realising that every time I gasp out loud that others may look at me sideways with concern, yet so fully alive and alert in the created realm that I do not care for their glances.
Just as I love how reading takes me on a very real and present journey in my mind, I also love to travel in the real world. I would go so far as to say that I am probably at my most mindful when I travel. I am not sure whether it is because I somehow know that I only have one opportunity of which to make the most, whether it is because I am inclined to be highly sentimental, or because I really enjoy collecting as much sensual information as possible so as to share a very realistic version of my experiences with others. Perhaps it is a combination of all of the above.
While travelling, all of my senses are on high alert. For example, once left alone to my hotel room in Bali, the first thing I did was explore the entire room. I started in the bathroom, smelling every complimentary toiletry bottle and soap. When I close my eyes, I swear that I can still smell each different scent.
I opened the wardrobe and took my time to file every item in my mind: the softest dressing gown ever, soft slippers, a trouser press, an ironing board and iron, and a safe.
The mini bar was the best I had ever seen, packed with various beverages and local snacks.
The television was huge. The room was huge. The balcony, from which I could chat to my friends on either side of me, was the best. 
Being mindful of my hotel room and its surrounds was only the beginning of a ten-day experience in which I was present and alert in every moment, from simply walking on the beach and being harassed by hawkers while having philosophical conversations with friends, to savouring each bite of the local cuisine while overlooking an active volcano. There is nothing like the earth rumbling beneath your feet to make you feel fully alive!
Being mindful during experiences away from the routine of work and home, is one of the most fulfilling things in my life. Because I make an effort to mindful during these rare occasions, I appreciate and remember them better.
I also often write journal entries about interesting experiences, during which I need to be mindful in order to remember the finer details, such as feelings, which could fade or be embellished upon over time if not recorded as soon as possible and as accurately as possible.
Two other activities in my life which require accuracy are music and dance. I often tell friends that if I don’t go to my lessons, I will go mad because it is during these two hours of the week that I think of nothing else other than what I need to do in that moment. It can be no other way. These activities are my true escape from everyday life’s stresses. 
If I am not mindful when I play violin, I sound like (in the words of my teacher), “A mosquito with flu that hasn’t eaten for a week.” Playing a piece that does not grate the eardrums requires absolute mindfulness, focusing on each note of the music in front of me and keeping a consistent rhythm. If my mind drifts elsewhere, I make mistakes. I need to remain in the present moment at all times.
Once I know and understand a piece really well, I shift my attention to how my fingers feel on the fingerboard, the pressure of the bow on the strings and each tiny speck of rosin as it flies from the bow and lands beneath the bridge between the F-holes. To me, that is when the music really comes alive, alongside a surge of energy from within my very being.
Most of the above could also be said of ballet. If I’m not mindful of my posture, as well as the placement of my arms, legs and feet at all times, I could injure myself. Not landing correctly while doing sautés (simple jumps), cost me a minor knee injury which kept me from dancing for a month.
Yet, again, once I know a move well enough and understand what techniques to apply so as not to injure myself, I focus on the rhythm of the music and how I may be able to flow with it, feeling the beat and becoming part of the music through dance. It is then when I enjoy dancing the most; fully aware and alert, but with abandon, completely carefree of all else other than the present moment.
Even writing this piece has required mindfulness. It has made me focus on what is important to me; of that which I need to become even more mindful so as to experience life fully. 
Yes, I need remember the past, but not dwell on it. I need to plan for the future, but not get so ahead of myself that nothing else matters; that the simple pleasures of the present moment don’t matter. 
I need to be fully immersed in the present to be fully alive.

About Andrea
author photograph, Andrea VermaakAndrea Vermaak has been writing journals, stories and poetry since the age of eight. While studying a BA (Journalism) Languages and a BA (Honours) English degree, Andrea chaired the University of Pretoria's literary society, The Inklings, where she honed her creative writing skills at weekly workshops. 
After freelancing for a few years and gaining experience on a working holiday in Scotland, Andrea’s career in the publishing industry began in 2009 as a publishing assistant at a small independent publishing house in Pretoria, South Africa.
She was promoted to the position of editor of a children’s general interest magazine in 2013. While working as a magazine editor, Andrea edited several fiction and non-fiction books for self-publishing clients. She is currently a full-time English teacher at a Cambridge International school.
Andrea has published several magazine and student newspaper articles, as well as poetry and blog posts. Her debut short story, ‘Draca’ appears in The Flight of the Phoenix, an anthology published by Siygrah Books. Her short story ‘Break Away’ appears in Journey, an anthology published by Muses and Broomsticks. Andrea still enjoys writing poetry, and is in the progress of writing and editing several other short stories, as well as a young adult fantasy novel.

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