The practice of being mindful; completely present in the moment, truly allowing yourself the freedom to accept your feelings and thoughts, be they positive or negative has grown on me during the last seven years. It has been quite the journey. There are still times when I have to remind myself to let go of past injuries and hurts and move on, focussing my attention on what is beautiful and good with the world that we live in.
It is challenging to find that centre of calm within you and allowing it to radiate throughout your entire being. It is crucial to the process that you forgive yourself for backsliding or allowing negative thoughts to take hold of your entire day; it is a learning process after all. Consider the fact that we all learn at a different pace and in a different manner. I, myself am visually and audibly inclined. I learn through reading, YouTube videos, the natural world, people passing by, snippets of conversation, audio tapes. Be kind to the way in which you are made, the particular baggage you carry, the surroundings and people that give meaning to your life.
All of these variables affect who you are and the behaviour you choose to exhibit. And yes, behaviour and attitude towards problems is a choice, sad but true.
This may seem like so much mumbo jumbo. I will explain exactly what I mean by giving you a run down of my daily activities and where I find time for my creative side.
06h00 the dreaded alarm goes off. I do not set multiple alarms, there is only one; no snoozing. I do the mundane things, get dressed, toothbrush, hairbrush; tools used to tame the wild child.
06h30 first cup of coffee, sadly decaffeinated.
The next twenty minutes are spent in mindful meditation. Contrary to popular opinion it is possible for a Christian to meditate. I use a Bible text or simply the beauty and grace of the universe to focus my mind. Relax, be aware of your body and your breathing, find the quiet that exists within you. Noise, which we are constantly being exposed to has negative effects on our health.
It is important that silence, both external and internal, becomes an unnegotiable part of our daily lives. It is only by being completely present that our spirits become teachable. If I skip this step due to the business of life, it really does come back to bite me in my ample ass sometime during the day.
7h00 to 12h00 I do a twenty-minute exercise routine and feed my 7 pugs, yes there are seven, a rescue border collie and Kitkat my aged cat. This is the time where I have breakfast, clean, cook and iron. Boring to the extreme, but life as we know it would cease to exist at casa mia if I didn’t. An uprising, involving 3 males and 9 animals would cause havoc.
12h00 to 14h00 I run errands. My bank manager sighs in relief when I practice restraint and walk past the book shops without going in. Oh, add any stationary shops as well. We run our own DVD rental/book shop and I have a list of mundane items to buy for said shop, which sometimes involves going into aforementioned stationary shop. I keep reminding myself that I do not need another journal or more pens or various art supplies. Show me a writer who does not have more than 10 journals which are still wrapped in their protective covering. Somewhere during this time, I remember that I need to eat.
14h00 to 16h00 I write, paint or crochet amigurumi animals. Sometimes this time is usurped by demands from my sons, who still life with me at the ages of 30 and 27 respectively. Perhaps I should kick them out of the comfortable nest soon. I am however slowly but surely turning into a demanding shrew considering the time I set aside for creativity.
I suffer from Bipolar disorder and if I skip these two hours on too regular a basis my brain shuts down and I become severely depressed. At times I am in my manic phase and I take on too many things at once, which as you can imagine takes its toll. I learned through trial and error what works best for me and what doesn’t.
This does not mean that the disease is conquerable; I believe that it never really goes away completely, but by being mindful I have learned to control it to some extent and to be aware of the signs that inevitably lead to either depressed or manic phases. You cannot change that which you do not acknowledge. Make peace with it, we are all flawed.
My favourite quote from Alice in Wonderland reads:
Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
Alice: I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
16h00 to 16h30 get ready and drive to the DVD store.
16h30 to 20h00 work and chat to clients. I am an empath, which means that I get to know clients on a personal level and share their emotions. I have a degree in psychology. I never practised as my therapy flaw is that I get emotionally involved in people’s lives and cannot disengage. The store has become my ‘practice’.
20h00 to 22h00 I arrive home, feed my animals and myself. Watch Supernatural or Bachelor in paradise; my two guilty pleasures. Bathing follows as I refuse to be a cave woman.
22h00 to 24h30 I edit (yes, I am an editor on the side) or read. You have to read so that your writing improves. The last twenty minutes or so I read my Bible and meditate. This ensures that my brain is sufficiently ‘switched off’ to ensure a good night’s rest.
This is how I spend my days, with the variation of shifts spent in the store running from 13h00 to 16h30 or 10h00 to 15h00 on the weekends. Looking back at this, I suddenly realise how busy I truly am, but believe me, without meditation, none of this would be even vaguely doable.
Mindfulness has helped immeasurably for my anger and anxiety issues.
I find that it has become easier to let things go. You cannot change the past, even if you had access to a time machine. Why then would you allow it to change who you are or change the way in which you see the world? Do you realise how much time is wasted on this very thing when you could have moved on to something better, something which challenges you and allows you to grow?
Being held back by past hurts or traumatic events ensures that you are trapped in a stagnant pool, slowly rotting away.
Be happy in the moment, that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more. Mother Teresa
“What day is it?” asked Pooh. “It’s today,” squeaked Piglet. “My favourite day,” said Pooh. A.A Milne
I addition to being mindful and meditating, I also practice stoicism. These practices seem to me to belong together as they overlap so much.
The final question remains- how has all of this this helped my writing and art?
Writer’s block: Meditation replaces the to do list which constantly runs in my mind. Ideas do not flow if your mind is constantly overthinking.
Do not struggle against it if you find yourself in this position. Accept it for what it is, become quiet and reflect on what you are feeling in the moment. Frustration, low self-esteem, anger. Acknowledge them and let it go, they do not define you, they are mere in-the-moment emotions which should not last. If it helps, journal about your feelings. This is also writing and should alleviate the blockage. You have words on paper! And remember even if you feel that you are writing the most atrocious rubbish, it remains the first draft. Silence the internal editor bitch!
Art: I have recently returned to embrace my love of creativity. Thanks to my friend and fellow author, Linzé Brandon for reminding me how much I love playing with different mediums.
Creating allows you to swim in the energy that surrounds everything we see and touch. I challenge you to experience the beauty of the world without feeling the urge to create or to leave it a better place than you found it. Create from the well of silence that you have gained from mindfulness and meditation; it rarely runs dry if you remember to feed it daily.
This has helped be to overcome many obstacles in my life and to become the best version of me, I sincerely hope it has meant something to you as well.
Love and happiness always!
Vanessa.
About Vanessa Wright
I am a 52 year old visual artist and author. Two of my Afrikaans short stories have been published in My kort vir jou sop available on www.amazon.com as an e-book.
I have my own blog appropriately named Humouring the dark, I am also active on Facebook and Twitter and am a member of a writing group.
I lead my own book club as well- I am a true bookaholic. Writing has always been my passion, however the timing always seemed incorrect as daily life interrupted more frequently than not.
Now, I have decided to go big or go home.
Books @ Smashwords
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you for visiting my blog today. For more updates about the #CreativeLife, follow me on Twitter @LinzeBrandon, and remember to subscribe for more stories about the things that inspire me.